Throughout my life I have enjoyed playing football. I remember playing smear the queer with the Caballos family down the street. We'd start playing in their yard and Casey would bring his brother from across the street to play. Soon we had 5-10 kids tackling each other in the front yard. There were many a time where a score was settled by playing this game. Many a times there was beef generated by playing this game. Overall, I think, this game brought us together. Regardless of what one might think of the name of this game, in my opinion, the game is aptly named.
Removing all sexual connotations from the word "queer" you come to a basic understanding of the purpose of such a game. Anything outstanding gets hammered. Simple and straight forward. I'm sad this game went away because it taught me an important lesson in life that I had struggled with after this point. I say taught but, in retrospect, I continue to learn its nuances now. It's important to make oneself part of a group and to face repercussions for derivation from that group cohesion. I remember many a times where I was the object of these repercussions. To explain this, I'll need to explain the rules a bit.
Smear the Queer:
1. The person with the ball gets tackled by anyone not with a ball.
2. Once down, the person with the ball stands up and cannot move.
3. He/She then throws the ball at someone of their choosing.
4. Goto step #1.
The social aspect of the game is absolutely where the fun comes in. We usually played this game once or twice a week. This means that all the beef you've accumulated throughout the school week can be settled right then and there. Sometimes you volunteer to be first so you can throw it to someone you know avoids getting the ball at all costs but still wants to be a part of the group. I know what you're thinking right now. "This guy just wants to ostracize people from his own group and establish group dominance."
That's a hard no, bud.
The purpose is to "smear" the "queer". Let's think of this in a somewhat-metaphysical context. The purpose of this game was to bring people closer together by addressing the strangeness of each individual vicariously through a simple child's game of tackle the person that is most strange to you. It's not that we wanted to keep the strange out but quite the opposite. We want to keep the strange in. This strangeness that each individual has is their contribution to the strength of the group. Sometimes we don't understand our own greed masking itself as self-consciousness as we recede into our own little bubble out of fear. This game, in essence, smears the strangeness of each individual into the group in a process that integrates that strangeness into the group. I can attest to the feeling that, when you have that football, you don't feel unwanted.
Fast forward.
Some part of me wants to place blame on something.
Maybe I was overzealous to have a love of my own.
Maybe I just wanted to be admired
To be wanted
Maybe I'm a fool
I can't place blame on any one of these things. I can't even list all of the factors that could possibly have had an impact upon my decision to be strange. To lead a life that was full of heartbreak.
I know I wouldn't trade any of it away because this experience is worth every single rip and tear.
Lyrics
Here from the king's mountain view
Here from the wild dream come true
Feast like a sultan I do
On treasures and flesh, never few.
But I, I would wish it all away.
If I thought I'd Lose you just one day.
The devil and his had me down,
in love with the dark side I'd found.
Dabble in all the way down
up to my neck soon to drown.
But you changed that all for me.
Lifted me up, turned me round.
Wish this all away
Prayed like a father dusk to dawn.
Beg like a hooker all night long.
Tempted the devil with my song.
And got what I wanted all along.
Wish it away,
Wish it away,
Wish it all away,
Wanna wish it all away,
No prize that could hold sway,
Or justify my giving away,
So if I could I'd wish it all away.
If I thought tomorrow would take you away.
You're my peace of mind, my home, my center.
I'm just trying to hold on,
One more day.
